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Debt of Humor

Friday, February 26th, 2010

The Intro:

For every word a price must be paid or benefit gained. Normally this is thought of a as a political or commercial theorem. But if you ponder deeply enough into the eyes of a very old and ornery field mouse, it will eventually bite you square on the nose. The same is to be said for humor or other types of general verbal spewing. It all cannot be just pixels or generics. Something or someone, somewhere must pay for those really awful and intestinally challengingly unfunny jokes that are printed ( as some may comment often drone on in these pages ). Everyone knows those office moments where someone tells the ultimate in untimely and unfunny conversationally injected jokes that is so beyond inappropriate, not funny or inversely the absolutely the worst possibly pun you’ve ever heard. Payment has to be had. Karmic humor must exist….

The Pygmy:

Somewhere out there, on an undiscovered land or area, there are probably a small nation of pygmies that exist that unknowingly suffer from all the ills of the rest of humanity. This is where all of karmic humor must rest. A small insignificant bad joke may kill a single pygmy. A gut wrenchingly bad pun, a village. To the poor pygmies, its a sort of random event of unexplainable bad fortune.

The Scenario:

Bob walks in to Marks’ office; “I got a question, Mark,…”, Mark quickly replies, “I have an exclamation mark, but its sorta the same, just more straight and less squiggly at the top…..”

The Visual:

*somewhere far away in pygmy land*

*small boar hunting group of pygmies suddenly fall over dead*

The End:

Dominant definitive definitions of the Horticulture Harvest of the Hare

Saturday, June 27th, 2009

Innovation – The ability to gather vast numbers of hares or rabbits within a small field unbeknownst to a nearby population of hunters.

Conservation – The processes of managing and retaining a vast number of hares or rabbits within a small field without establishing a ruling social class.

Manipulation – The aptitude to coordinate the mob-like mass of field dwelling un-rodentesque long-ears into believing they are superior to everything around them.

Instigation – The facility to mobilize and arm the now seething and multiplying fervent and rabid Oryctolagus cuniculus into a fully functional girl scout cookie selling unit of unheard of proportions.

Imagination – Something that one must still possess to be continually be reading about mobilized seething rabid girl scout cookie selling hares or rabbits….

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